I’ve often heard advice suggesting that sharing your personal story or journey is the best, maybe even the ONLY way to connect meaningfully with your audience and persuade them to take a specific action (buy something, commit to something, etc). 

I got another email this morning from a small business in another industry with the same message, selling with the same pitch. And since everyone seems to be saying it, it must be true. Right? 

Uhh… no. 

I think most of this advice is coming from a place of good intentions. But it’s easy advice. And not only does one specific method or strategy not work for everyone, but in most cases, telling your own story in a presentation or speech isn’t even appropriate for most of our work and career persuasive opportunities. 

Also, how do you know that the “experts” are following their own advice? Or that they’re getting great results from using their personal story to sell?

Back when I was starting my career transition out of academia, I tried using my personal background to connect with potential clients, and I just didn’t get great results. 

In fact, I started to understand that my personal story was actually turning people off.  Because they didn’t have the same experiences, my potential clients couldn’t see me as a resource to help them with their unique needs.  

I also didn’t feel like I was being authentic when I was using myself as the success story. And believe me, your audience and clients can tell when you’re not being authentic. 

Always remember, presentations are given by you for the audience.  Whatever you’re presenting on, the focus should be on the audience.  Now, when meeting with clients, instead of using myself as a connection point, I ask them to share their story.

What’s Not So Great About Inserting Yourself Into Your Persuasive Appeal

Here’s the thing. In most professional situations, telling your personal story as a persuasive technique isn’t a good idea for several reasons:

• It can turn the audience off.  Unless they connect specifically and directly with you, your story, your personality, your image, and more, you’ll lose an opportunity to connect and convince your audience.
• It isn’t applicable.  Sometimes, you just don’t have the most clear or convincing story to use as a persuasive trigger.  Your past experiences might only be vaguely related to the topic of interest or your thesis statement.
• The story isn’t transferable.  This was often what I was running into with potential coaching clients.  My story was different and unusual from most people I was talking with.  The story didn’t transfer to my audience as a point of connection.
• Personal stories may not be relatable.  What worked in a different office or industry might just not be a convincing connection for your current situation.
• It’s not the right time or place.  Few of us are motivational speakers for a living.  In most corporate settings, it isn’t appropriate to use personal anecdotes or experiences as motivating reasons to act or invest.

Want proof? Check out these links.

• Advocacy communications: Persuading an audience is about them, not you
• Stories Can Be Powerful Persuasive Tools. But It’s Important to Understand When They Can Backfire

So what can you do to use the benefits of storytelling without damaging your persuasive potential? Fortunately, there’s a better way. Instead of your personal story specifically, use storytelling as a technique, generally. 

Wouldn’t you rather spend your time doing something that feels like it’s building rapport with the audience that also motivates them to react to your message?  Well, now you can. And it doesn’t have to be confusing or overwhelming. 

A Better Way to Use Stories to Persuade

In general, storytelling is a powerful and effective tool to encourage your audience to remember your presentation or message and to move them to action.  While your personal individual story might not be the appropriate foundation for your presentation, shifting that idea to tell another story usually is!

Here are my tips for using storytelling as an effective technique, without focusing on yourself.

Step #1: Know your presentation goal 

If you’re developing a presentation, you should be crystal clear on the goal.  Why are you giving this presentation to this audience?  Use your goal as the central focus of everything you include in your presentation.

Are you informing key leadership about the status of your project for their upward reporting?

Are you asking for authority to make a purchase/change the schedule/revise the design?

Do you offer a key investment opportunity?

Is there a critical decision point in the work you’re doing?

Are you inspiring members of your team to adopt new policies or procedures?

Your goal is your guide.  Know what you are trying to accomplish and how that mission connects to the specific audience you’ll be presenting to.  Ask yourself, why would this audience care about my goal?  Why should I share it with them and why would it matter?

Without clarity in your goal, your use of strategic storytelling will miss the mark.  Often I find that speakers and presenters overly rely on personal stories when they aren’t clear on their goal.  Because they don’t have an end result in mind, they resort to what feels comfortable as a persuasive technique – their own past experiences.

In order to use stories more broadly, step into the topic and the ultimate end result you’re seeking.

Step #2: Translate the target of your goal into the main character of your story 

Equipped with your goal, now focus on the target of your goal.  The target is the project/portfolio/opportunity/capability/unit or decision you’re trying to support by accomplishing your goal.  

It is this target that will be come the main character in the story you tell in your presentation.  Whereas when we use personal stories as the persuasive hook we are the main character, in this new frame, it is the thing you are trying to support that becomes the main character.

It can be an object, a tool, a software application, an idea, etc.

What journey has this target been on to get where it is today?  What motivates us about this target?  Why should we get to know it and care about it?  

For example, I’m presenting to a group of investors who were early supporters of our company’s newest tech widget.  I want to tell the story of the development of the widget thus far, challenges we’ve overcome, and the bright future for this widget.  (This is the story with the target as the main character).  However, we’re going to need more money to overcome some supply chain issues.  We need the investors to contribute more.  (This is the goal I’m trying to achieve.)

Contrast this with me instead telling a story of all the things I did and thought about and implemented as a part of moving the widget’s development along this far.  Now I see more problems coming up and we need more funds to continue.

Do you see how using the target as the main character (and hero!) of the story  is an easier way to connect to the purpose of your presentation than by telling my own personal story as the widget’s program manager?

Step #3: Give the story depth 

With the ultimate goal and the main character defined, you’ll now add details to the story from the main character’s past and present to help the audience contextualize.  Adding these details can help the reader better understand the present to support future decision making, and importantly, connect them meaningfully with your target and your goal.

What are the challenges, successes, overall value, value-add, relevance and impact that the target will have on the world?

To give further guidance in how you might flush this story out, check out this beautiful infographic from Leadernomics.

Here they outline just one of the many potential stories you could tell in your presentation to level up the impact of your efforts.

View the rest of the story arc’s here.

Step #4: Become the trusted steward 

The last thing to keep in mind is that in this presentation or persuasive moment, you act as the trusted steward – both of the organization as well as the target/main character of your story.

While we generally want our goals to be realized, sometimes that might not be ultimately the best for the organization/community/business unit, etc.  As a strategic and trusted member of the organization, it’s important to realize that sometimes “no” is the best response to a request in the long run.

While you should be a cheerleader for your character, don’t let them drag you down.

Next Steps

While relying on personal storytelling is tempting, it is rarely appropriate or effective in our career persuasive and presentation situations.

Instead of relying on a self-centered storytelling approach, use your presentation goal and target of your presentation as the guiding narrative for your audience.

This type of presentation frame is incredibly valuable when translating science and technology target to various audiences.  For more tips for success in these types of presentations, check out my post on how SME’s can better convey their knowledge to audiences.

Or, if you wish you could better motivate your audience to respond to your persuasive appeal, read more here.

The good news is, you can absolutely become a stronger and more persuasive presenter in a way that feels authentic to you. You just need the right roadmap – and a little independent thinking. 

If you want more help here, check out my Public Speaking Blueprint just for you, to help you create a powerful presentation from start to finish.. 

Share your name and email to download the blueprint now!

Questions? Comments? Drop them below. I can’t wait to hear what you think.

Cheers,

Andrea